Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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