butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
