So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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