She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Fuck appropriateness.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
