who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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