Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
