ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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