We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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