She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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