She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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