Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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