No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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