is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
