marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
