somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
