Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize