So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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