your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
