He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
