I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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