I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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