you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
