it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
