I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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