i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
