I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
