tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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