My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
