I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
