He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize