Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
