I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
porn star boner night. come get it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize