We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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