Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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