At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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