I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize