I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You work out of a Hotel?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
