It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
