new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
