You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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