Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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