I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
