Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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