i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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