Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
