NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
