My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
