Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
