Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
