Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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