NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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