Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
