Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
