Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
