how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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