Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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