Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Your penis caused this!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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