i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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