the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
