Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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